Thursday, December 10, 2009

A Couch Potato, I

So I worked out again today; this was #4.

The good news is that I got through all 20 reps of the military press the first time, without help.

The bad news is that many other parts of the workout seemed worse than before. Oh, it's true that J2 switches up the routine in an effort to confuse me and keep me from finding out his evil plans. But my general feeling is that today was worse; I was wimpier. I was hoping that I was making a little progress, that things would be easier.

And then, of course, it dawned on me that getting easier isn't part of J2's plans. The plan is to stack a little more on each time so that just when my muscles could handle what he dished out before, he sneaks a little more on and it isn't any easier. Ever.

It reminds me of a method I once heard of to grow potatoes in limited space. See, you get an old tire, put it on the ground, and fill it about half full of soil. Then you plant 3 - 4 potatoes in there and cover it with a little more soil.

The innocent potato then grows greenery above the soil and more potatoes below. Eventually, the greenery sneaks over the top of the tire. At this point, the potato is feeling pretty good about itself. Got some procreation going on, photosynthesis going well, everything looking up.

Then, you stack another tire on top and fill it with soil.

This is very discouraging to the potato.

"Crap," the potato says.

But the potato dutifully begins to grow, more greenery up and more potatoes below. Eventually its greenery is peeking out over the top of the second tire, and potatoes are filling in the soil below.

"Well," the poor potato says, "It was tough but it was worth it. Multiplying, replenishing, doing everything a young ambitious potato plant should be doing."

Another tire. More soil.

"Dammit," the potato says.

Well, you get the idea.

The Innocent and Abused Potato Plant

It seems like a great way to get potatoes, yes. But the poor potato plant is suffering a nervous breakdown by the time it's all over.

This is what J2 has in store for me. Another scoop of dirt every few days. There is no rest for the couch potato.



  1. And Betsy was right--your new blog really is like a little personal gift from the gods right to me, a little sign that someone up there likes me. The opportunity to vicariously enjoy all the best of the torture sessions...priceless! Wow. This is like my birthday and Christmas all rolled into one. It might even be better than the tool set.